Vegas Day 1 - Cockblocked by Elvis

Joker and I roll out to Vegas on a lovely Tuesday afternoon. The Brain is joining us tomorrow

Upon arriving we roll into a Whole Foods to grab an early dinner.

108. A cute girl is sitting in the dining area. Horse Girl. She is weirded out. I eject politely (B)

We head to the hotel, check in and relax, then hit the strip.

109. Cute blond standing on the street. Horse Girl. She is 17. Eject (C<5) Joker later asks google what the age of consent is in Nevada... Fyi, it is 18

110. Two ladies waiting for a volcano to explode, and for me to approach. I do. Horse Girl. Hug. They claim to be from San Diego but have a southern accent. Joker wings. Reckon / Yonder. Cow shit. She corrects me, cow dung... she doesn't swear. She has other nice girl attributes, and I tease her and say you and I would never get along. She agrees ;) I talk about travel with her a bit, then the volcano explodes. It is lame. Joker and I move on... he comments, "That girl was really boring!" Ain't that the truth (C>5)

111. Two girls basking in the afterglow of the volcano. Horse Girl. Hug. She knows its a joke, and says "Oh yes, of course" and rolls her eyes. Still hugs me ;) Then they "gotta go." Later (C<5)

We walk down the strip a bit, stopping at various casinos and chatting up random people. Walking from venue to venue is messing with my state a bit.

I wing Joker on a set at the Planet Hollywood bar. They are super cold people. They answer questions with one word answers, and stare into space rather than talk to strangers. I think their mothers went overboard on the Stranger Danger brainwashing.


112. German girl standing at a slot machine. Horse Girl. She is confused and I tone it down. Her boyfriend comes in, and I include him and ask about good times in Vegas. Later (C<5)

113. We are walking the strip and 2 hot girls walk past. My jaw drops and my brain falls out of my mouth, and I just keep walking. Then my brain snaps back into place, and I realize I just let 2 hot girls walk past without approaching, so off I go running. They stopped to take a photo and I walk in to the middle of it... Hey, do you know this girl? You, do you like horses? I deliver the opener with eloquence and poise... she hugs me. She will forgive me because I am looking at her with those "beautiful blue eyes." Smart tests. Smart/Hot/Rich. She agrees she is hot, and really f'ing smart. And she is on her way to financial success. Then she flips it back at me... what do you do? I am a groupie. So what makes you such a great catch then? I'm funny as hell. "I like you" she says. Then she says, Jesus, you have the longest eyelashes ever, but mine are better. I tease her for wearing makeup and cheating... girls are always cheating, getting plastic surgery... She says she would never do that... so I cup her breasts and say, so these are real? She laughs, and gently pushes my hands away. I tell her I got some plastic surgery, I doubled my penis size... it is now 4 inches. She laughs, and says that won't do her any good, what can you do with 4 inches? I go into secret spots of the vagina, and talk about my oral skills. Oh yeah, that is good... most guys don't know what they are doing down there... She says they noticed us walking past, and she is glad we came back around, and that she loves the horse girl line, I should use it again. We all take a picture together. I tell her that I need to give her the hug test, and she says English girls aren't touchy people, it is either all on or not at all. Oh, so this would be OK? And I wrap my arms around her and pull her in, sliding my hand across her ass and pulling her hair, biting her neck. She says yes, and again gently removes herself. They need to go get a drink, so we roll down with them... and she whispers to me, I think my friend is a little weirded out by your friend, she gave me the eye when I said we were going with you guys. I ask her for logistics, how do we fix that? She says to recover my friend and we'll go get a drink and fix it from there. But then, we run into Elvis, and they want their picture taken with him... and then the friend uses this opportunity to run off without us, arms locked with Elvis. He should crawl back into the hole he came out of... I got the girls digits and facebook, and texted her later in the night but no response (#) Best set of the night.

We arrive at MGM, and Joker opens a 2-set at the bar. I wing, and these girls are fun. They run into Studio 54 and invite us along, but we decline. Stupid cover charges!

114. Two roaming girls on the MGM casino floor. Horse Girl. They walk away without me finishing (B). Later I open them again, and they said "you already played this game with us." I know, that is what makes it so funny, but they back turned me and I didn't plow


115. We head over to NY-NY. Girl at bar by herself. Horse Girl. Her English sucks and she is really closed off. Ciao (B)

116. Back to MGM. Two married ladies in the corner. Oprah. They are fun, and we dance and get into sexual topics. They are meeting their husbands... NOW. We hug good-bye (C>5)

117. We start to take the monorail back to our hotel. There is a girl in a trench coat standing on the platform, with a big fat girl with her. Horse Girl. Forgiveness. We sit next to each other on the train and vibe. They get off to do whatever hookers do, and I ride on to my hotel. I'll call this a less than 5 minute conversation (C<5)

118. I'm back in my hotel. I see a cute girl that is 5'0" tall and approach her. She is German, and her English is poor. She keeps looking at her friend, so I pull her in and her English is better. The short girl has ADD and wanders off a few times. They are more interested in playing slots than playing with cocks, so I leave (C<5)

So... Vegas has a lot of people. I've seen a few hot chics, but not a ton. LA seems to be more target dense, but maybe that is because this is a Tuesday night. Moving from venue to venue messes with my state, and I experienced some AA at times... new venues, new place... And I had one of my best / most fun sets ever with the UK girls. And damn, were they hot

11 sets
B - 3
C<5 - 5
C>5 - 2
# - 1